And now came the time . I had tested the waters. Now, it was time to dive.
I leaned forward, voice low but steady.
Do you feel or think that a priest’s holiness begins when he takes the vows? I asked
He looked me straight in the eye without even giving it a thought and he said “No”. That was firm. I thought to myself.
He leaned back , his eyes thoughtful ” Vows are usually a public commitment and a sacramental moment. But there are things in a person that have often been growing before the vows and what keeps them growing even after them. Intention. Love. Discipline. Sacrifice. Those are just some of them.”
He paused, I wrote the weighty words.
Then he continued, “Holiness begins way earlier, in the small choices that leads to the vows. The vows just deepens it because if the heart isn’t there before, the vows alone can’t create holiness”.
He continued to make me understand that the vows of a catholic priest don’t automatically make him holly, the vows give him the frame work. Holiness actually get lived in the confessions, in the mass and in serving the people.
“In short,” he said,” vows are just the beginning of his life as a priest. But it is the ‘yes’ in his heart that leads him to the vows and then he deepens everyday as he tries to live them just like in every other commitment. May it be marriage or work. We are all work in progress and holiness then can never be reached because we are human and human make mistakes. Therefore, what we all should do in our areas of commitment is pray for grace to carry on every day and also extend grace to others because without that then we become judgemental which is not our place.”
With that profound explanation I knew it was time
“Tell me about the vows. What do you actually promise during ordination?” I asked
He didn’t flinch. Instead, he leaned in too, as if grateful for the question.
“First,” he said, holding up a finger, “people need to know that these vows are guides to excellence, not chains. They’re called the counsels of excellence. And… not all priests take all of them.”
I must have looked confused, because he smiled gently.
“Religious priests, like Franciscans, Jesuits take a vow of poverty. We diocesan priests don’t.” He let that sit. “We are not meant to be poor. We are allowed to own property. To engage in decent business as long as it doesn’t scandalize the priesthood.”
My mind flashed to every time I had side-eyed a priest driving a nice car or what they owned where. We are all learning here, I thought.
“We are guided,” he continued, “by the 1752 rules. And the last one; the 1752nd is this, all for the salvation of souls. That is the filter for everything.”
“What’s the difference between a religious and a diocesan priest?” I ask
“Religious priests live by a charism, a specific spiritual family. They practice together. We diocesan priests…” He grinned. “…we’re sometimes called ‘secular priests.’ Or, as I joke, ‘village priests.’ We’re individuals. We’re not bound by a community rule- only by priesthood itself.”
Then, the air shifted. We had arrived at the most sensitive space.
Celibacy.
“So,” I ventured carefully, “ Are you saying this vow is there to help you avoid distractions? To enhance excellence?”
I worried I’d put words in his mouth. But I remembered: I chose to dive.
He didn’t correct me. Instead, he took a slow breath.
“Celibacy is a matter of morals,” he began. “It started in the 12th century. And if you notice… when the Pope speaks on matters of faith, he speaks with finality. But on matters of morals…” He paused, meeting my eyes. “…he does not speak with finality.”
Moral issues are not cast in stone.
I felt the ground tilt beneath me.
He stood up suddenly, smiling. “Let me show you how we take these vows.”
He began with the vow of Obedience
He knelt, palms pressed together. “We kneel before the Bishop. He places his hands over ours. He asks: ‘Will you obey me and my successors?’ And we answer: ‘Yes, I will.’”
Clear. Certain. A vow sealed on your knees.
Now, the Vow of Celibacy
He stood up straight. “For this one, we stand. The Bishop asks: ‘Will you remain chaste for the sake of the Gospel?’”
He paused. Looked right at me.
“And we respond: ‘With the help of God.’”
Silence hung between us.
Then I laughed; a nervous, startled sound. Luckily, he laughed too.
“Notice the difference?” he asked softly.
I nodded, my throat tight.
“The vow of obedience is a yes,” he said. “The vow of celibacy is a prayer. Remember what I said about morals.”
Every gesture in the Church has meaning, he reminded me. My mind raced. Standing. Not kneeling. A request for help, not a declaration of certainty.
“What should the public know or rather Christians?” I ask in almost a whisper.
“The Bishop isn’t worried because a priest has ‘fallen short,’” he said, sitting back down. “He’s worried about the scandal; the effect the sin will have on the Church. Because…” He leaned forward. “…no priest never gave a bold ‘yes’ to celibacy.”
“The vow that encompasses all vows,” he finished, “is obedience. That’s why a priest will go wherever he’s sent. Do whatever the Bishop asks. That is the ‘yes’ we actually promised.”
Then, quietly, he shared something that left me speechless.
“Before seminary, we undergo a fertility test. If you’re found infertile… you are not eligible.”
In shock I ask Why
“To ensure a man doesn’t join the priesthood to hide,” he said. “But to sacrifice something real.”
What would be your plea to us?” I ask
“Do not expect priests to be perfect. Even God didn’t use perfect people—check the Bible. Just pray for us. Remember: priests are ordained to offer sacrifices for themselves and for others. They know they are sinners.”
He paused, then added, “We go to confession, too. Even Bishops.”
Then came the, the analogy I won’t forget:
“There are thousands of airplanes in the sky. Do you talk about them? No. You only talk about them when one crashes.”
He let that hang in the air. Heavy but honest.
“Have healthy relationships with your priests. Correct them with love. Help them live faithfully.”
We expect them to be holy. I thought. But is it even possible for a human under the sun to be free from temptation? To be without sin?
Do the expectations feel heavier than the call?
Or are we, the faithful, asking for angels…
…while God chose to send us men?
This conversation has changed me. What about you?
Having talked about the vows, his struggles as a priest, his sacred comedies it was time for a shift in the conversation to the inner life of a priest. Can a priest serve for many years and begin to feel like a guru? or is every day experience different?
This story is next.
The witness continues……..
